Five Antidotes to Shifting your Mindset Today!


My friend and brother within my ISI Mastermind, Lane Beene inspired and challenged me this week. He called me this Friday, and I asked him, “What’s the good word brother, what are you hearing from God this week?” He responded by telling me these last six days have been an eye-opening lesson on the topic of humility. He mentioned how last week he accepted a challenge to eliminate 100% of the complaining, criticizing, and blaming he had been doing. Powerful, I said, tell me more. “Within one hour of this challenge Lane caught himself railing complaints about a friend. He shared with me this behavior of his was too frequent. In fact, by the middle of the week in his challenge, he realized something incredibly powerful. Today we will need to explorer what Lane realized along with four other antidotes to eliminate complaining, criticizing, and blaming from your life. I believe in you! May this post elevate your ability and desire to LOVE. LISTEN. LEAD.

Antidote 1 – Change your Vocabulary

Over the next 24 hours pay careful attention to the words you choose to speak to yourself and others. Are you selecting words which inspire, encourage, and lift up others or do they hurt, discourage, and tear down? The beauty is we can change our vocabulary. While this is simple, it is not easy. This requires a disciple of the mind and maturity of the heart. Remember your goal is to eliminate all complaints, criticizing, and blaming over the next seven days (and beyond). Your victory starts with your vocabulary. 

Antidote 2 – Negative Thought in, Edifying Prayer Out

Stop playing “catch” with negative thoughts. This is what I heard one mom share with her 8-year-old son who was battling anxiety. Same can be true for us as we write our own story at 80 MPH down I-35. There we are minding our own business, heading into the office, meeting a friend for lunch, or late for our child game and someone cuts us off. Immediately, we find our arms flailing in the air with harmonic sounds of criticizing and blaming rebounding off the windshield. Moments later we realize and pause “what am I doing, this is not me.” You’re right. It is ego. And this is what my friend Lane realized this past week. His actions and response to complaining, criticizing, and blaming were rooted in pride and his desire to be right and an authority.

HITOP friends, dislodge the negative thoughts which are sabotaging your joy and true abundance. Replace every one of these thoughts with an edifying prayer. First for yourself and next for those you wish to criticize, complain about, or blame. Maybe something like this:

Scenario 1:

Negative In (old way)

You come home after a long day of work only to find out there is a house full of kids hanging with your child. Tired and not wanting to be bothered you begin to mutter complaints of frustration. As you walk through the sea of teenage chaos, you quickly identify your spouse is not home and has left a list of a few things you need to do, including making dinner. Criticism, anger, and more complaints are welling inside. As you make it to your room, you see that your dog has left you a little treat and BOOM, the fireworks go off. It soon will not matter, the course of the evening for you and all around you is about to change, what to do?

Scenario 2:

Positive Edifying Prayer Out (Mindset Shift):

You come home after a long day of work only to find out there is a house full of kids hanging with your child. Thank you, Lord, for providing such godly children for my children to spend time with. I appreciate how you are so Faithful and care for my family, you think. Tired and not wanting to be bothered you begin to reflect on how God’s strength has gotten you to this point, surely, He will help you finish strong. As you walk through the sea of teenage chaos, you quickly identify your spouse is not home and has left a list of a few things you need to do, including making dinner. God, tonight you have created an opportunity for me to extend an act of unconditionally LOVE to my family, thank you. Please allow me a few moments of rest while you recharge me from a long day. As you make it to your room, you see that your dog has left you a little treat. Lord, I pray I can always be the man my dog believes I am. Thank you for blessing him as a member of our family. Lord, I have an opportunity to speak into my children today the importance of caring and being attentive with our family pet. Allow me to respond from the Spirit as laid out in Galatians 5:22-24 and respond with self-control and gentleness.

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
— Proverbs 15:1

Antidote 3 – Avoid the Void

Simply put, stay clear of allowing any empty space to be filled. Replace this void with words, thoughts, and actions which inspire, encourage, and lift up. I am not speaking only you, but everyone you encounter. If you have someone who upsets you this week at a restaurant, work, or home. Do something thoughtful and replace your thoughts of criticism, anger, and blaming with an act of gratitude. Perhaps buy them a beverage, lunch, or compliment them. Let them know the challenge you are on and have accepted to become the best version of you. Maybe that will inspire them to change, perhaps not. But you will be changed when you avoid the void.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
— Philippians 4:8 (NIV)

Antidote 4 – Journal

Journaling your progress allows for you to reflect on the state of mind you are in throughout the week. Right now, you may be saying to yourself, “this is good in theory, but how do I implement such a behavior change? These antidotes will help you by creating a pattern of mass dosage of repetition. Just like any professional, you need time, practice, and a playbook. Your journal is your playbook. Done right, it reveals your heart, emotions, and progress. But, what I pray you see must in your journaling, is God’s work in your life as you grow. Capture this and put a start by it, because God is revealing His love and faithfulness to you. Celebrate your victories and grow from your errors.

I want to encourage you to make your first entry to read and reflect on Galatians 5:22-23 every day this week. In these words, you will see how our focus on the Spirit allows our shift in mindset. This passage in a life verse for me. I hope it will inspire, encourage, and lift you up to the results you desire.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control.
— Galatians 5:22-23

Antidote 5 – Embrace Contentment

No antidote will be more essential for you “to take” them contentment and no scripture (in my mind) speaks to the topic of contentment as well as Philippians 4:11. Here Paul explains “I don’t say this out of need, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I find myself.” Write this in your journal, it’s another verse you may want to recite often. Include 12-14, incredibly powerful!

You see, when we do not know what we think we are missing or demand justification, correction, and reciprocation we are looking into the eyes of contentment and can only see the tremendous beauty of joy. To not want. To not criticize. To not complain. To not blame. Humility will be required, and pride will have to be let go of. I know you have it in you. Journal your journey and never give up. For your greatest joy is not that your circumstances have changed, but that you have changed despite the circumstances.

Q&Q – Ponder This

If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.
— Wayne Dyer

Call to Action

  1. Take time this week to reflect on today’s post.

  2. Create a From / To change in your mind:

    • From Critic to Champion

    • From Complaining to Complementing

    • From Blaming to Building Up

  3. Journal your progress. Remember when you stumble to remind yourself you are growing and give yourself grace.

Pursue Your Potential!