3 Surefire Ways to Lose as a Leader


3 Surefire Ways to Lose as a Leader

A-List leaders like Simon Sinek, Lolly Daskal, Sheryl Sandberg, John Maxwell, and many, many more are connecting with millions of followers as they share their messages and ideas on how to be a successful leader. If you are looking for ideas, you need only watch the numerous Ted Talks, read leadership quotes, or Google “How to be an effective Leader.” The resources are endless, very valuable, and help you reach your leadership goals. Truth is, there is more information available then you will be able to consume in a lifetime.

As you scour the internet for leadership ideas, consistent themes will undoubtedly surface:

  1. Confidence

  2. Accountability

  3. Empowerment

  4. Courage

  5. Charisma

Less information exists however on what not to do, which is good as we should focus on the positive. But, what if for a moment we flip the way you look at something to experience it from different angles. That’s the focus for Today’s Sunday Coach CONNECT which I was inspired to write after reading the classic book from C.S. Lewis, Screwtape Letters.

3 Surefire Ways to Lose as a Leader:

1.     LOVE conditionally

Conditional love is all about ego, control, and selfish ambition. To hold an expectation over another person in hope to get something in return is unhealthy and a surefire way to lose as a leader. Can you relate? Have you ever heard a leader say, “If you do this, I will…” Conditional love has no place in leadership, in fact, I would argue one’s ability to achieve the role of leader, whether in your family, a team for sports, a team at work, or a group at church, you must be willing to sacrifice. Conditional leadership is not about sacrifice. But unconditional is about serving. A servant leader removes the condition, regardless how big or small. Servant Leaders LOVE unconditionally by striving to live out the words in

Be shepherds of God’s flock which are under your care, watching over them—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not pursuing dishonest gain, but eager to serve; 3 not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock. 4 And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away.
— 1 Peter 5:2-4

Did you see God’s themes here?

  1. Not because you must

  2. Not pursuing dishonest gain

  3. Eager to serve

  4. Not lording it over those entrusted to you

Make sure your source of truth aligns with your desire to impact and change as a leader. One will accomplish a great deal for you and the other a great deal for others.

2.     LISTEN intrusively

Intrusive listening is a motivation of the heart, the problem is the heart is not pure in this approach, like what we saw in conditional love. This is dishonest and not a character quality of an authentic servant leader. Someone who LISTEN’S intrusively may go as far as painting themselves as having all the answers. They observe and tune in to ensure they have the necessary information to make decisions which often results in personal gain. True Leaders make no room for such listening. Instead, they LISTEN Intentionally. They are not concerned with the next response, they are concerned with the person speaking. A leader who is intentional in how they listen to others desires to build relationships, create an experience, and connect with others. They desire to lead by allowing the words of Proverbs 3:6 to guide them. “Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he's the one who will keep you on track.”

3.     LEAD passively

The third and final way to lose as a leader is to sit on the sidelines waiting for others to make the calls. This passive approach to leading others is often due to a fear to create conflict, causing a hurt feeling, or perhaps leaving someone out. Do not be deceived. To take no action is to take action to turn over your leadership, and that was not God’s design. Genesis reminds us that when Adam took a passive role in leading Eve, she took a bite of the forbidden fruit and mankind was forever changed.  

Urging us “admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all.”
— 1 Thessalonians 5:14

A man of HITOP will LEAD boldly and not be swayed by difficult or unpopular decisions. He turns to God’s Truth for guidance and holds fast to his value of Humility, Integrity, Truth, Obedience, and Prayer. As a leader for Christ, you are bold. You think in a significant way, challenge the standard way of thinking by holding it to a source of truth (God’s Word), and choose to stand & speak up to make decisive decisions for a greater good. HITOP fathers reject allowing someone else to raise their children, HITOP husbands remind their wife they desire to lead, protect, and provide for them, and HITOP employers suggest to their team they can grow to their potential.

Leadership is something you are, not something you give or something you do. You are a leader, and in return you build character. By choosing to stand firm under trial, you will learn and grow.  Your character becomes the expression of our habits, voice, and values. HITOP Leaders choose to LOVE unconditionally, LISTEN intentionally, and LEAD boldly. They are men of Humility, Integrity, Truth, Obedience, and Prayer. Men, you can Pursue Your Potential

 Character creates consistency, and if your people know what they can expect from you, they will continue to look to you for leadership.
— John Maxwell

Make an Impact

I have highlighted 3 things that we, as leaders, should watch out for and prevent doing so we don’t lose as leaders. The mission of HITOP Life is simple, to hold men CAPABLE to the core values of Humility, Integrity, Truth, Obedience, and Prayer so they can be successful men who Love Unconditionally, Listen Intentionally, and Lead Boldly whether in their Spiritual, Personal, or Professional lives.

Have an Amazing week!

Pursue Your Potential!